im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
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