I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
