there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
