ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
