You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
