i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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