I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
