respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
