this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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