I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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