Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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