I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
