Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We had sex on a dog bed..
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
