I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
