You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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