I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
