spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
