I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
we're so committed to being not committed
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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