on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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