I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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