okay pat passed out under dana's car
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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