But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize