I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
