Apparently you make a good broom.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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