I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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