the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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