Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
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He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
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Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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