Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
