was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
