Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
