I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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