I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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