sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
