he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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