Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
