Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize