I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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