We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
