so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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