If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
