I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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