i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
