just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
