highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
