theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
