HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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