you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
