GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There's always time for handjobs
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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