Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize