my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
