well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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