What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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