I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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