If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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