508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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