ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
They are going to name an STD after you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
